


Why It Had to Be Snakes

by chucks_prophet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Best Friends, Cas is so done, Dean is Addicted to Tetris, Desert, Desert Setting, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Implied/Referenced Sex, Love Confessions, M/M, Road Trips, Sexual Humor, Snakes, sorta - Freeform, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 18:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11213331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chucks_prophet/pseuds/chucks_prophet
Summary: A scream.Dean’s scream.Cas sprints in the opposite direction, running around the small area in search of his friend.





	Why It Had to Be Snakes

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this title is inspired by my first fandom, the Indiana Jones movie series. 
> 
> That is all. (And enjoy, of course.)

15 hours.

That's how long it's supposed to take to get from New Mexico to California. The five large Diet Cokes from three different Gas N' Sips weren't initially calculated into that deadline. Now, Cas has to not only explain to his strict Christian parents who he hasn't seen since the Ten Commandments were inscribed in stone that his boyfriend has a soft drink addiction that's insatiable, but that his boyfriend is not a girl and isn’t even his boyfriend to begin with.

This is why Cas is the black sheep.

"What mile marker did we just pass?"

"I don't know."

"Seriously?" Cas scoffs. Luckily, the passenger to the right of him avoids a heavy eye roll for the road ahead of them, which, in Yuma, is nothing but a stretched out tortilla baking under the largest and hottest oven light imaginable, but it's a road nonetheless. "Dean, you're supposed to be paying attention to the signs. And what are you even playing? It sounds like Tetris."

Dean turns to Cas with a dumbfounded look. “Excuse you, this is Tetris _Blitz._ And it’s a good distraction.”

“From what?”

“The… fullness in my bladder.”

Cas shakes his head. “Why am I not surprised?” he asks, scoffing, as he glances over at Dean. He doesn’t look too uncomfortable, the way he’s slumped against the seat, his black ACDC shirt sticking to him like Velcro to felt, He’s hunched over his phone, thick lips pursed in concentration to match eyes greener than the sunbaked cacti surrounding them. Then again, Dean has ten more times previous to have become somewhat of an expert at holding his bladder. “Can you hold it for another hour? I think there’s a rest stop up ahead.”

“Yeah,” Dean says, “yeah, I think I should be good.”

That’s the thing about Dean: Cas is the one person next to his limited flesh and blood that knows him, whether or not he wants someone poking around inside his head. And one thing Cas knows is Dean tries to downplay his pain. Once, Dean shook off a broken _wrist_ after a boxing match against a six-nine, three-hundred pound man nicknamed “Golem”. Now, equally menacing, he’s agreed to accompany Cas, who’s a self-employed massage therapist who gets more hands-on action with his clients than he does in his sex life, on this trip.

 _Anyway_ , so it comes as no surprise when, forty minutes later, Dean’s squirming more. Cas tries to distract himself by looking around for any sign of life, but there’s not even the occasional passing car. They’re completely alone, enclosed only by the ’67 Chevy in which they ride.

“Screw it,” Cas says, cranking the wheel to the right. Dean looks up and shoots a glance between Cas and the sandy curb in which they’re pulling up to. “ _Don’t,”_ Cas warns. “Just go.”

Dean’s eyes widen to the size of the needles sticking out of the cactus to the right of them. “What? By myself?”

“Dean, you aren’t a nineteen-year-old girl after her first frat party. I’m not gonna hold your _dick_ for you.”

“But this is Arizona, there are _rattlesnakes_ ,” Dean says, hissing the last word like the reptile itself.

Cas drops his head. “Rattlesnakes? Really, Dean? Who do you know that’s been bitten by a rattlesnake?”

“I mean, not anyone I know _personally,_ but I’m sure it happens…”

“Oh for the love of God,” sighs Cas, shutting off the ignition. “Fine, I’ll go with you.”

Dean’s mouth parts a little, bearing some of his teeth as his lips curve into a frown. “But that’s just _weird.”_

“ **Dean.”**

“Okay, okay, I’m going,” Dean says, raising his arms as he steps out of the car. Just when Cas settles back into his seat, thinking Dean’s gone in the opposite direction to do his business, he hears a knock on the window. Dean motions for Cas to roll it down. “It’s just… don’t play the music too loud. Or those weird podcasts or whatever it is you listen to when I’m chatting up the cashiers at the mini-marts. In case I scream.”

Cas actually laughs at that, but steels himself for a nod, “Okay. Whatever you say.”

“And take good care of her.”

“Dean, the car will be _fine._ You’ll only be gone for two minutes!”

“Unless I get bit.”

“You want me to take care of your car, you’re the one letting all the hot air inside her.” Cas mentally curses himself. Eight years, and Dean’s finally rubbed off on him.

Dean’s lips curve into that crooked Indiana Jones smile he does that Cas is afraid to admit makes his mouth go dryer than the tongue of the Impala’s tires against the desert sand beneath them. “I’ll be back,” he says, patting the car before sauntering off.

Even though the windows are up, Cas waits until Dean’s completely out of sight to step out, too.

The warm air hits him like a blast from an eighties popstar’s hair dryer. The road is still barren, making a clear path for the occasional jackrabbit to come skipping across, and if Cas looks far enough ahead of him, he can see his destination rolling off in heatwaves. It’s not an opportune place to use the restroom, but even Cas, who’s an equally stubborn son of a bitch, will have to make do.

It doesn’t take long for Cas to find a spot that’s hidden behind dead shrubbery and even more cacti, in case a car should pass by. He unzips, positions, and releases—much to his satisfaction, if the sigh that escapes him isn’t enough to go on. It’s not until he starts zipping back up that he hears it.

A scream.

 _Dean’s_ scream.

Cas sprints in the opposite direction, running around the small area in search of his friend. He whips his head to the left and checks around some bushes (again, dead), then to the right, but he’s nowhere to be found. Just when Cas thinks something really bad’s happened to him, Dean calls out again, this time, Cas’s name. It’s a little bit slurred, but still carries the same gruffness to make it a fair game of Marco Polo when Cas calls back for him.

After one more sharp turn, he spots Dean, crouched over a bush. When Cas gets closer, he can see Dean holding his bottom lip with the fat of his thumb. “Dean?! What happened?”

“Goddamna snaye,” he slurs, avoiding Cas’s gaze as he steps closer, “fuyu.”

Cas shakes his head, and like he knows Dean’s probably is, his heart’s racing a mile a minute, “But how did you… how did it nab you in the lip?!”

“Tetris,” Dean says perfectly, “I was onna roll.”

“How did you play with…? You know what, never mind, don’t answer that. Let’s, um… let’s—” Cas whips out his own phone (because he’s _definitely_ not touching Dean’s ever again) and squints against the sun, only have it read back to him “No signal. Great.”

“Cas…”

Cas shoots his head to Dean, who’s starting to remove his hand. Cas flinches as his eyes come into contact with the bite. It’s starting to bleed more profusely without Dean’s hand to cover it. “Dean, what’re you—?!”

“You have to do it, Cas.”

“Do wha—oh. Oh my God. No. No, no—!”

“Cas, please. I feel like I’m gonna puke, or worse,” Dean says, and he’s not kidding. Dean’s face is looking a little green, and it’s certainly not from the envy he’s feeling looking at his perfectly okay best friend.

Cas’s mouth drops as he shakes his head sharply. “Dean, you know what happened when I tried out for medical school. I can’t… I…”

Dean turns his head to the bright sky, then sighs and steadies his hands as best he can on Cas’s shoulders. “I know this isn’t… I was going to wait until we got to California, but… I mean, if it’ll potentially save my life...” Cas tilts his head back a little, blue eyes never leaving green—the only two colors that breathe life into this God forsaken desert—as Dean goes onto say, “I love you. I always have. For as long as we’ve known each other. I wanted to come with you on… on the trip to… to _not_ fake our relationship so much, that is, if you felt the same—”

Before Dean can finish, Cas surges forward and crashes his lips onto Dean’s. However, the romantic moment is fleeting. Cas sucks Dean’s bottom lip, drawing out the venom. It’s nasty. A little salty, a little metallic, and just all around disgusting.

But he couldn’t have asked for a better excuse to kiss Dean.

Reluctantly, Cas pulls away to spit out the contents in Dean’s lip. He’s about to dive back in—to be thorough, of course—but Dean pushes him away in favor of dropping to his knees and puking in the same bush.

“Dean?” Cas says, laying a hand on his back.

Dean pulls himself forward, but not enough to get up from his knees. He stares up at Cas with the most dazed expression: His mouth is parted and staining slightly from what looks like the tacos they scarfed down a few towns over, and his eyes are blearily looking up at Cas. He still manages to look absolutely gorgeous in the meantime, the way the sunlight filters through his short, spikey caramel hair and sweeping across his forehead is the color he’s been drained of for the past few minutes.

“I’m okay,” he says, holding up a hand. Cas shakes his head with a curt laugh. “What?”

“Nothing,” Cas responds, “it’s just… you really _are_ a nineteen-year-old girl after her first frat party.”

Dean grunts and holds up his middle finger.

Later that night, Cas calls his parents to inform them he and his boyfriend will be coming in the next morning so they can stop at a local motel and “rest easy” for the drive up.

 

 


End file.
